Yeah society is watching you

4 Mar

A long and unending conversation with one of my rare MSN contacts caused me a terrible headache and time-consuming thinking about an inherent feature of human societies. Indeed, this person was facing what every young woman in the Third World fears the most: the necessity to stop her schooling in order to gain a more transcendental position in society through marriage. Such a decision, rarely made by the person, but rather forced on her, would not only destroy her individuality but also transform her to an obedient slave of the husband’s family under the banner of tradition and mores. Why are we considering the creation of family as a duty? Should not it be the other way around? Should not it be the society’s duty to look for each individual’s good? What society really did was to pervert human nature and its instinctual needs on order to socially construct the attractive image of the happy family, and consequently to serve its own interests. My argument is that human societies have created the cult of the family, and used subtle reinforcements to this system in order to achieve an endlessly standing stability while claiming the protection of the common good. Although this might seem like a script of a Hollywood movie applied to social sciences theory, let me expose the means through which such alienation is performed.

First, many scholars have shown that society often uses a system of rewards in order to perform some of its tasks. Primarily prestige and power are distributed throughout the different branches or classes, so that hardest functions would also become the more valuable of the individual. For instance, a CEO position offers esteem incomparable to that of a janitor. Indeed, this system of “valualization” is often used by societies to gain popular support for the necessity of marriage. How many never heard their grandparents saying to them on their eighteenth birthday that now it was time to start looking for a husband or a wife? Actually, a young person can only reach adulthood through marriage, as if this commitment was a metamorphosis from a lonely caterpillar to a lovely butterfly. It appears then that society constantly uses its reward system to brainwash its individuals, leading them to fanatically observe its traditions.

Second, the mass media are largely used in order to diffuse the picture of the happy family. From advertising to sitcoms to drama movies, it is always the same repeated story. The redundant picture that comes to my mind is that of Family Kennedy playing football on a Sunday afternoon. This image, largely used as the standard of the American family, was nothing but a faulty description of Sir Kennedy’s secret affairs and a striking political play. But bear in mind that, instead of hating the players, hate the game. The society’s control of the rewarding system has forced all its elements to look after what is highly valuable in it, and the mass media, as a true reflection of its image, show how such a perception is conceived and conveyed.

Finally, the society transformed our latent needs for its convenience, reshaping our instincts in order to preserve its survival. It is widely known that the need of reproduction (the right to fornicate for others) is biological. Hormones control our needs, and motherhood as well as other desires is the result of these and their alteration of our decision-making system. Societies have used human nature to seduce individuals into a vicious trap. Specifically, women are pushed towards finding their true loves, their soul mates, or whatever love songs tend to call them, as the only genuine path to reach fulfillment of their desires. Fairy tale stories accompany these young ladies to finally bring them to the bitter reality of adulthood: the necessity to getting married to an unknown stranger.

In conclusion, society as a whole has been using its components as grist to its mill for its own preservation. Traditions, media tools and biological needs are just artefacts in this high conscience that keeps perverting the human nature in order to create the faulty need to create a family. But is a piece of writing on a completely obscure blog will make things change? Maybe not. But a whole conscious community of young people is always seeking for the best. So in two words: WAKE UP


5 Responses to “Yeah society is watching you”

  1. ur rare msn contact March 4, 2010 at 11:44 pm #

    what about men??u r saying that weman only seek love, but in my whole life, ive seen nothing but worshiping husbunds and cold weman in my familly(except for my father of course)
    if weman complain about that, men should do it too, because apparentlly there should be both genders to make a specimen, u r gonna tell me that weman have hormon rushes more than men,but still,men need to be loved even more thn weman
    and what is that society u r talking about?? isnt it made of weman and men??u r talking like they r some kinda other creatures who r forcing and controling both weman and men to get married and stuff
    if there is a women who shloud complain about getting used for reproduction , it should be eve and her two dauthers,but they didnt just say:”oh im depressed,im only done to make children,im more important than that, i have a spirit that should be seen and liked, oh wait a minut , what is that thing i feel ?? i should absolutlly be loved,they say that it rocks, hey adam,why dont u like me for who iam not because i ONLy make children??”euh, of course reproduction is the biggest job she had ,and that we have too, but why r we reproducing if its gonna be only for reproduction??we already are trying to make humans discrease nowdays,so why doesnt the society give another different idea: a bad one about familly,so that there wont be huge numbers of marriages??thats what we see actually, the mass medias are diffusing all kinds of naked bodies and beautifull hotties,so what audience will be watching a boring repeated story movie?ppl are intelligent enough to notice that films stories are repeatedlly boring, and as we always say when we want to talk about a hugelly impossible story of a film like”a walk to remember”, we say: it happens only in films, u will tell me that ppl are influenced indirectlly even if they deny,i wont disagree
    is it a “boring familly image ” that makes bachelors give up their party life??they can make love to a billion of partners,so its way better than that “familly image”,is it that they will grow old??that isnt a trouble for them,but is it the need for company?if it is the case, why dont they choose to hang with friends for the rest of their lives??and have lying fake fanacies about them,so that they think that life will be good??of course because marriage is some thing way different, that ppl choose to do,u ll tell me that if society put a “happy friends image”,ppl will do it,well yeah of course they will,but only because this society u r talking about is made of a bunch of experiences,and if they didnt try that friendship, they wouldnt find that it can be good (with the presence of good norms) from the frist place,because humans cant just create some thing from nowhere,there should be always some raw material to work on
    if u tell me that marriage is all about fake hormonal emotions, there will never be divorces because all ppl will be living the dream, and every thing will be allright,but as we see,ppl choose to break up as they choose to have relation ships
    another aspect of contradictory :homosexual ppl,too illusionary feelings,no guid by society nature..
    having his own life,moving out from his parents house,an 18years old teenager is already an adult,no one had ever said that u should be married to become an adult, but u should be an adult to get married
    now we see that couples can stay together:
    without marriage… are they together because of the need of reproduction?? i dont think so..and they can live a whole life without even thinking about getting married, but some ones choose to spell vawels,and to be engaged spiritually,in front of god,thats why we find most of the atheistics not married,and even if we find atheistics married, can we say that they follow “society nature”?,those ppl are the last to be controlled by such an aspect…(but any way,we r not talking about religion here cuz belivers,no matter their faith degree,when they grow older,turn to be more spiritual…)
    wihtout children:and they chose to stay that way, their whole life,(its always up to them,so they r not forced to anything)so if u r saying that ” the happy familly image” is made to reconsiliate weman and make them think that they r not used for only reproduction, your saying has no basis in that case, because they r not used to reprodutc, and if u r gonna tell me that they r used for sexual pleasur,or other things,well belive it or not,its not about that that true love is called true, and thats the love im trying to study,yes i agree that those emotions and feelings are illusionist,as i always repeated,and thats by the way my theory ,but i dont agree that society nature is the main reason of it..

    we should continue this later because as u know,i should go 🙂

  2. itskysmylife March 5, 2010 at 2:00 am #

    What can i say, when confronting a long and disordered reply such as that… Well certainly i should read it and try to figure out how to understand it. :p

    Anyways, nice that you have had time to read it.

    I first want to point to the absence of any argument based on religious belief. Such an intentional decision seeks to avoid the reason of most of humanity’s insanity. So as I would avoid to get involved into one’s worshiping of God, I would not reply on any arguments based on personnaly0centred beliefs.

    Men do never complain about this perversion because it is certainly for their own interest. Who would refuse the possibility to get rid of its (sexual) needs at the lowest cost? Also, many feminists see the patriarchy ( which is the dominance of male ) as a feature of human society anf then we may suppose that patriarchy is indeed this subtle prosecutor of women.

    No unfortunately it is not about outsider creatures, but rathar a common conscience shared throughout the society. Because of the difficulty of tangible and concrete conception of it, we tend to deny its existence. This conscience is partly responsible of the uniformity of personalities inside the society. How can, you and I, be taken to be similar if there is no such thing that homogenizes us?

    Indeed, why are people keep watching the same old repeated story of happiness? Isn’t it because the brainwash is so effective that no one can ever notice it? Why do people watch drama movies if they know that such an utopia is unreachable? Isn’t it because they feel like something is missing? What if that missing part has never been there? What the necessity of company (as you call it) was nothing but illusion ?

    Humans can’t, as individuals, to create things from nowhere, but a community of humans can do it. It can impose on its elements to follow its guidelines (which finally end up to become laws) and then CREATE A SOCIETY.

    Friendship is as entitled with these fake images as marriage. The only example that comes to my mind now is the Friends’ series. Have you ever been in such a situation? 6 friends, with astonishing lives (and irresistible physical attributes) living in harmony and mutual love. You might say that you had not experienced such thing yet, but it may come later. Well indeed this is exactly what society tries to vindicate by promising a new hope.

    I believe that using the exeption to refute the geneal law is nothing but illogical meaninglessness. How many 18 year old teen can be mentally and ideologically seen as adult? How many are still relying on their parents in everything ? How many are not even able to think by themselves? Isn’t that the majority?

    And yes, people can be conducted only by their sexual pleasures and needs. Don’t ask me for proofs, just type whatever sex-contending word on google and prove it to yourself.

    It is always a pleasure to discuss different viewpoints, but self-centred subjective perspective has nothing to do with a scientific method of inquiry.

  3. ur rare msn contact March 5, 2010 at 10:42 pm #

    if there werent any arguments in there, u wouldnt be answering and giving proofs to proove the opposit, so dont tell me there are no arguments in there
    about drama movies, ppl notice it, and dont watch it,but there is some thing that i dont understand:why do u,a person who realized that society branwashed,still watch those movies?can we say that u like them and u r as brainwashed as them?? r u too sinking to a point u cant stop doing it even if u do know that its a trap?? or just for some thing else?? that some thing else will be the rerason of a lot of ppl to watch those things
    but first, let me say that mass media didnt exist ages ago, its new,but love is old,and the happy familly image is too,u would say that mass medias werent the tool than,okey, so they change nothing today too,what were those effective tools that made us belive from the first place that marriage has to be done eventually?and thats way before religions showed did tha society think about marriage,what is its primistive definition??
    society:a community of ppl who impose rules and laws,do they know that those rules are wrong?are they mindless??i just wanna say that they are made of ppl like u,me,but the difference is that the biggest part of them,that takes the lead,is based on some thing: what is that thing they r influenced by to think that they r right?so those complotations are the work of whom exactlly? wher did that lie come from? and how?and if it is that good, so that all these ppl are hipnosed,what makes u that special to know about it? i think a lot of iintelligent ppl lived through time,but they werent luky enough to watch those movies repeating them selves so that they notice the difference,or because they over made and take fairy tails as a database,speaking of the laters,films now are turning to the happy spirit of chrismas,toothfairies, ect ect, and the supernatural powers that human dream to have, so maybe they r brainwashing us to believe that we can be superman some day..
    its not a selfcentred subjective point of view,it has nothing to do with my perception of marriage and love and u know it,im talking about ppl in general, but if it was up to me, it ll be always about religious perspective about marriage ,(but i did talk about concubinage,homosexuality,and other stuff that are forbidden by religion, so its very ovjective) and u know what i think about love either,so….
    are u superstitous?

    • martianblur March 6, 2010 at 7:41 pm #


      First Let Me please Thank you for taking the time to write such long replies, It really makes us want to write more, I think the best movie that would best describe what my coblogger tries to prove is: “Mona Lisa Smile” It really makes the “happy family image ” stand out, Of course If anyone out there watched that movie they would surely understand how things work..

      Let me add that How people see things is different obviously.
      It all depends, in a way, of the amount of “culture/education” you store.
      See when someone writes a story for a movie, that person is not expecting people to see it the way they do, let’s take for example, The movie “A walk to remember” since i think everyone watched it, most people see it as a sad love story, as “pure beauty”, but really that movie is about cancer, really it’s about cancer, maybe that movie was a way to make cancer feel more personal, and it might also be about a talented young singer… a lots of them perceptions float out there, it’s all about the ability of using your brain, nobody forced you to see whatever you think you are seeing, it’s just that most people (SOCIETY) see it as a pure love story, the audience made it look that way, therefore the media had to classify it as such, and next thing you know the media uses that kind of “stories” for its own benefit/brainwashing etc etc

      maybe I developed the wrong side of this, of course couldn’t understand fully what points were made, but i think the main thing, and the point that should obviously be understood is that it’s all about education and knowledge, whatever words out there to describe it, and how you develop them only that would make you see things clear, so yes indeed and as my friend ended his post: WAKE UP !

      Really thank you, it’s a pleasure to discuss such things, even though obviously I am not good with These subjects,

      stay tuned for more

      P.S: saying that homosexuality is forbidden by religion is totally subjective , since religion is classified as a personal belief !

  4. ur rare msn contact March 6, 2010 at 8:44 pm #

    no problem the pleasur is mine ,of course its always that way when it comes to “ur friend” which happened to be my friend too,and we r used to do this :d,even though ill stop doing it from now on cuz ill have some pretty important exams to pass
    can i start with the p.s plz?? :yes i said its subjective too, its in fact my argument to confirm that i was objectiev when i was giving the expl of homosexuals ,and that i was talking about them as nutral as i can be, i mean i said :if i was subjective ,i wouldnt talk about homosexuals cuz this is a forbiden thing in MY religion, but i did, so i wasnt subjective ,that explains me havin homosexual friends ..i hope i made my idea clear..
    yes in fact i was thinking about that film in particuliar(the monalisa smile) too when i was going to notice the “time norm”,let me say that the film is talking about the fifties , and that time was specifically the “familly ” time perfectionally,but the film it self is against that,and giving a sarcastic image about weman who are ,even highlly educated, end up being married,the proof is that the hero(julia roberts), was an icon of revolution,she wanted her students to be the best,and not to be regular housewives like its some thing that eventually should happen to them, so mass media in this one are not brainwashing ppl,but onthe opposit,awarning ppl about that
    but can we say the situation is still the same?? i mean for weman, are they now like what they used to be in the fifties?? of course not, ppl now are awake thanks to mass medias,and they know already that those are femal stereotypes which have to be banned
    i just wanna say that my friend is talking way deeplly about that, he’s talking about the origins of love and marriage, not about a specific time in history, or maybe i didnt get his idea, maybe he can correct me when i say that his idea about love is that its just an imaginary hormones emotion that makes weman justify marriage, and makes them feel they r not only made for reproduction…and that society is still forcing (brainwashing)its ppl to get married and have famillies by convincing them that its the right thing to do ,and that they will be happy if they did this,
    about “a walk to remember”,when did we know that she had cancer??if they wanted to make a film about cancer, they would show how it started,how they suffered physically, how they fought it, and things like that, not the stars watching,and the tatoo stickin,and the “fighin every body and leaving his all world for her” ,but if u tell me that :when u diffuse a film that has a two seconds shot of a couple holding hands in a public parc in the backgroud ,and that some one thinks its talking about how great love is,mass medias has nothing to do with that, its the audience that wants to believe it ,what i want to say is that the film had a lot of shots that expressed the “beauty of love”,so that ppl focus on that part, not on the cancer one
    like the “matters of life and dating” film, its about dating after brest cancer, but when u watch it, u know that its about cancer, not about some thing else
    yes mass medias only broadcast what the audience wants to watch,so can we say that they r the ones brainwashing them?
    thank u for giving a third opinion

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